Erling Haaland is a science fiction striker with insane numbers

Erling Haaland doesn’t even seem human. In interviews he responds like the ‘replicants’ in Blade Runner, monosyllabic and without blinking. On the pitch he steamrollers opponents and scores goals as if he were an android created to dominate football.

“He’s completely crazy, but that’s what makes him so good,” said Max Wober, a former team-mate.

A hint of madness and such a dominant physique that it doesn’t seem real. It’s strange to see a footballer nearly two metres tall who is so coordinated, fast, and prepared for his job as a goalscorer.

Since Ronaldo Nazario there hasn’t been a player so explosive on the move and with so much patience when it comes to shooting. Marco Reus highlighted his cold blood. “He plays as he trains, it doesn’t matter what is at stake. When he has a chance he always scores,” said Reus.

Haaland is not just about shooting. His capacity to create space has always been a strength. When he was a kid he actually seemed weak. Now that seems impossible but it took him a while to get this strong and he had to learn to compete against stronger and faster kids.

In that era he found solutions that, once he got his physicality too, made him hard to stop. Similar has happened in his career. He went from scoring five goals in 10 games (for Molde and Salzburg) in 2018-19, to scoring 44 in 40 games in 2019-20 (for Salzburg and Dortmund).

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